Some common Nigerian statements and their actual meaning.

Baby, I missed my period – Baby, I am pregnant
Baba you don fresh oo – My guy, it’s been a while.
Mother to child: If you like don’t stay at home – If dem born you well, don’t stay at home!
Sweetheart, I’m not happy – Sweetheart, I need money.
Say the truth I won’t beat you – If you don’t talk, you are in trouble.
Daddy, they said only few people passed the exam – Daddy, I failed woefully in the exam.
The food is not too bad – The food is very bad.
“Will you go to Church tomorrow?” I never know – I don’t want to go.
With all due respect – Permit me to abuse you.
Do you have a girlfriend – I like you.
I don tire – I’m hungry.
I am not sure – I know, but I won’t tell you.
Hello, you look familiar – Hello, may I know you?
Son, don’t fight anybody in school oo – Son, I love you.
Boy to girl: I love you; girl: Okay – I’m not interested