The Joy of Bonding With Your Child
By Dr. Nicoline Ambe
A typical American household looks something like this. Dad is in the office using the computer. Mother is sitting in the living room, texting her friends or talking on the phone. Child number 1 is in his room laying down on the bed browsing the internet, child number 2 is in his own room watching Youtube videos, child number 3 is texting friends. Child number 4 is playing games on the computer. Family life in America has become truly complicated. The makers of communications technology understand the addiction and are doing their best to make the devices and features more sophisticated.
As a parent, why not commit to making this Christmas season a time to bond, not browse? The years you spend with your child is so limited and so precious that every moment must be consciously spent connecting with them. So, instead of sitting in your separate rooms staring at the screen, stop in your child’s room to check on them and have a little chat. Ask them how they’re doing and if they have any challenges at school or with friends. Find out what’s important to them, or just let them talk while you listen. Initially, you may receive resistance, perhaps because they’re not accustomed to you asking questions about their lives. Let your guard down as a parent. Be that shoulder to lean on and that listening ear that every child wants. Acknowledge and validate what’s important to them.
The holiday tradition of gathering the whole family around the table to break bread is a great tradition that symbolizes family oneness. Beyond that oneness, individual relationships have to be strengthened – relationships between siblings and relationships between parents and children. Your child needs to receive the emotional support that will propel them into a successful future. Make this season a time to look at your relationship with your child more critically. Re-evaluate and create ways to share more intimate moments that will nurture who they are, make them feel great about themselves and propel them to new heights.
Your lovely, amazing child lives in a world that is fast-changing and ever so busy. Distractions have reached new heights. How will you as a parent help your child find themselves in the maze of all that is happening around them? How will you help them discover who they truly are, and avoid being vulnerable to other people values, opinions, decisions and choices? How will you help your child to be themselves in a world of copycats? In a world where everyone is trying to fit in? How will you help your child discover their identity and uniqueness? The way that you do that is by bonding with them. Having a close enough relationship where they value you and feel accepted and loved in their home environment. So, let this season be a time to bond, not browse. Happy Holidays!
About the Author: Dr. Nicoline Ambe is a Motivational Speaker. She is also the Founder and CEO of Nicoline Ambe International, a training and consulting company that empowers parents to prepare their children at home to become high achievers in school. Visit her website at www.nicolineambe.com
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